Driving through Patea on the twelfth day of Christmas. The children are still in school—it is calf day at Waverley—but you know it’s Christmas because of the decorations. See, look at that guy: buzzing back from the dairy on his mobility scooter: huge New Zealand flag behind him, full mast and flying. You know it’s Patea because just there are the Patea Maori Club rooms. Over there is the concrete waka where Joe Moana breakdanced in the Poi E video. You may hardly ever pass this way, but you know it well. Directly ahead, down the main street, you can see Mt Taranaki, sporting a quiff of cloud for which Cory Jane could have modeled. Or one of the other Santas. Strictly speaking, the decorations should come down on the twelfth day of Christmas, but no one seems ready for that. Every second car still has a Silver Fern streaming in its slipstream, hanging on for the ride. A little frayed at the edges by all the drama, perhaps, but aren’t we all. Wherever you look—on farms and wharenui, fences and factories—someone’s hung an All Black flag. Dalvanius Prime said he wrote Poi E to connect people with their culture, [...] Read More »
How to move a pile of topsoil
Seated on the right was a professor in politics at Victoria University. This was interesting because a few days before two large truckloads—twelve cubic metres—of topsoil had been delivered. It seems trucks can never dump things precisely where they are required and so the soil had to be moved—shovelful by shovelful, barrow load by barrow load—to its final position. They served the panna cotta and the professor—just back from Kuala Lumpur—observed that the American empire has lasted only a hundred years or so, whereas earlier empires went on for centuries. Now, she said, we are experiencing the rise of an Asian empire—China and India—from which New Zealand is well placed to benefit. Somewhere between the West and the East, on an island in the Pacific Ocean, moving topsoil from where it has been dumped to where it is required (shovelful by shovelful, barrow load by barrow load), you can contemplate such matters. Curt Carlson was a Minneapolis entrepreneur who lived the American dream and built a multinational corporation on goals and targets: “Increase sales by 15% per annum and you double the size of the company every four years”. “Go to work on Saturdays and be ahead [...] Read More »
Hear our voices we entreat
Eli will tell you the first time he came across it. They were doing the New York Times crossword, which they do every morning, and the clue was ‘encircled’. Four letters. And after that it became a bit of joke between them: could they use it on a client job and get away with it? Eli and Ruth Cohen operate from a small office on West 28th Street, just a short cab ride from the United Nations headquarters. They are the go-to firm for national anthems. Visit them, and you’re reminded of Allan and Margaret Hubbard at South Canterbury Finance… a gentle, elderly couple, working away together. There are files piled high on every surface. “Girt by files,” Ruth murmurs, before moving to the piano for a quick reprise of ‘Advance Australia Fair’. They’ve done most of them. Well not Palestine’s, obviously. And they missed out on France (“Allons enfants… marchons, marchons”) because tunes, they concede, are not really a strong point. Their son, Nathan, he was good with tunes, but he left the firm at an early age because of tension over his friendship with Freddie Mercury. Nevertheless, they are proud of Nathan’s contribution to Bon Jovi’s “Livin’ [...] Read More »
Hoe while it is Spring, and enjoy the best anticipations
Even the korimako—the bellbird—can’t wait. Like an early riser outside Cafe L’affare on a Sunday morning, impatient for the doors to open, he hops along the branches of the kowhai, inspecting the flower buds. “C’mon team, let’s GO.” (of course it sounds better than that, as anything in Bellbird, or Maori, or French, tends to do.) Spring is Nature’s reset button—Control-Alt-Delete—a rush of optimism and promise that this time round everything really will be perfect. All too quickly however the nor’westers come, a random frost, the summer scorch. Reality bites, life happens and it’s literature all over again. All of us are shaped by the events of our lives and most often the damage is self-inflicted. In a song titled Stoplight Roses (“you’ve broken something this time that Stoplight Roses can’t mend”), Nick Lowe suggests there’s no point believing your ‘same old used to bes will see you through’. Tony award winning choreographer, Twyla Harp, puts it another way. She says we have to be prepared to challenge ‘the status quos of our own making’. We are each given a lifetime of Springs. Each of them is Nature’s reminder to challenge the status quos of our own making and embrace the new possibilites that are always out there. (Thanks to Tim Harford’s new book Adapt) Read More »
No shortage of sausages
The weekend farmers’ market at the show grounds in Hastings is in the sheds at this time of year: not as picturesque as the summer location out under the trees, but no less popular. What’s interesting about the market is that although they sell food, what we buy are their stories: the chef making chicken stock, the lawyer turned farmer, the egg man. Earlier this year, Scotland was beaten by Afghanistan in a One Day International cricket match. Hardly news, you might think, but actually a hell of a story. Until ten years ago cricket was banned in Afghanistan, but kids growing up in the refugee camps over the border kept the game alive and now they’ve made it to their sport’s top level. All of which is relevant because the Rugby World Cup is upon us and the scramble is on to sell the last of the tickets. And the challenge—as the lawyer now meat retailer would have predicted—is not the eye fillet: there’s always demand for the prime cuts, whatever the price; it’s the sausages. There’s never a shortage of sausages, so ignore the Rugby World Cup advertising campaign, because scarcity isn’t the story. The real story is [...] Read More »
Actually, we do need another hero
Occasionally, there is a glimpse into another world. It’s like passing an open door and seeing something you weren’t meant to see before the door is hurriedly closed. According to Martin Rees, who is Professor of Cosmology and Astrophysics at Cambridge University, the universe we inhabit may not be the only one. He says there might be another universe—just like ours—less than a millimetre away. He says we could be like ants, crawling about on a large sheet of paper, unaware of a similar sheet that is parallel to it. Perhaps it’s where Buzz Lightyear goes when he sets off for infinity and beyond. It’s hard to get your head around (well, impossible actually), but he may be right. Because just beyond the civilised veneer in which we spend our days, there really does exist a post-apocalyptic parallel universe reminiscent of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome. There are people there, wandering aimlessly about, looking for scraps: something they can rely on, hoping there is something better out there. This other world is millimetres away. To enter it, just Google some problem you have with your technology and click on any link that includes the words ’user forum’. You will enter another world where the blind are leading the blind. The children, the last generation, the ones they left behind. You will [...] Read More »
How do you feel?
At Te Papa there is a multi media exhibit about New Zealand in the 1980s. Beginning with Muldoon’s announcement of a wage and price freeze, it telescopes a period of massive political and economic change—a transition from the past to the present—into just three minutes: Labour winning the 1984 election and floating the currency, Rogernomics, state asset sales, Bastion Point, the sharemarket crash. “Excuse me. We’re conducting a survey about the exhibits here at Te Papa. Would you mind answering a few questions?” Question Two. ”How does this exhibit make you feel?” Well now, there’s a question. When Vincent Van Gogh was in the south of France—the period at the end of his life when he painted his best known works—he wrote in a letter to his brother that he wasn’t trying to paint what sunflowers look like, but rather how sunflowers made him feel. ”Expressionists,” explains Simon Schama, ’sought to express emotional experience rather than physical reality.” Physical reality comes easily enough to most of us. Approached by a museum researcher we could talk at great length on our memories of the 1980s or how successfully we think Te Papa has captured that era in its exhibit. But what if they don’t ask those questions? What if they ask how we feel? Ask what is our emotional experience of a sunflower? Of something in their museum? [...] Read More »
Dora the Explorer
First the disclosure: it’s probable that everything I know about archaeology was learned from Harrison Ford. Nevertheless… Every age has its defining artifacts—arrow heads, for example—that mark the progress of civilisation. So what would be your proposal for the defining artifact of our times? Before you answer, you should be aware that I have the benefit of my encounter with James (maybe four) and his sister Isobella (maybe six) at Melbourne airport. You should also know that—despite the modern communication technologies that might first come to mind—air travel has soared in the past twenty years. Notwithstanding our increased capability for virtual connection, there is unremitting expansion in demand for being there in person. Which suggests that—if you had to choose a slice of modern life to examine under the microscope, looking for its DNA—the milieu at a domestic airport might be a good choice. Having selected your slide, as you focused you might be struck by the diversity of artifacts the species carries: this person with a 12 pack of sushi; another with two dozen Krispy Kreme donuts. But you’d move on, looking for the defining artifact: the one thing nobody today can function without. Which is why, right there in the centre of the slide, you’d be thrilled to encounter James and Isobella: [...] Read More »
As radiant as Her Majesty at the races
David Attenborough is in Antarctica at the moment—at Scott’s hut—filming a new series. At 85 years old, he’s not just the best presenter about the planet, he may be the best presenter on the planet. He knows his stuff, which helps. But perhaps the main thing to notice— next time the datashow beckons—is that it’s not about him. As far as David Attenborough is concerned, he’s only there to tell the story. There’s no footage about how difficult it was getting from wherever he was to wherever he is now, or about how cold he is or uncomfortable. If he uses ’I', it’s because it’s necessary, somehow, to the story, but he uses it rarely. He doesn’t tell the viewer what he thinks—we never learn anything about him. He presents the information and sums up what can be learned from the evidence. What he certainly does is make it look effortless: a sure indicator of the care and effort he puts into his preparation. What he also does is get excited. Read this description from Clive James, “Few who saw it will forget Attenborough’s smile of ecstasy as he stood, some years ago, knee-deep in a conical mound of Borneo bat-poo. Miles underground, with cockroaches swarming all over him and millions of squeaking bats crapping on [...] Read More »
I’ve seen it all and it’s not what you think
We happened to share the same lift, and as it descended we had the ‘what did you think?’ conversation. It had been one of those after work functions with guest speakers and now she was putting on her beret and gloves ready to meet the cold, in a way that reminded me of a Frenchman I’d watched on the Metro in Paris, knotting his scarf with a precision that had never in my life occurred to me. She’s keen to expand into export and had gone to pick up some tips. The speakers—from three quite different businesses—had been talking about their own experiences. Not in a know-it-all, ‘aren’t we amazing’, kind of way, but rather with that ‘nothing special’ modesty that makes you proud to be a Kiwi. They were intelligent, successful and quietly inspirational, but come question time, their answers didn’t really provide the ten secrets of export success our hosts might have been hoping for. One firm could have gone to China, but didn’t because none of the directors had any desire to live there. Another was doing business in Holland, but only because a Dutchman happened to knock on their door to ask if he could become a distributor. [...] Read More »
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