Young people today don’t understand young people today. Or, to be more specific, thirty-something hairdressers don’t understand their fifty-something clients. Those fifty-something clients may have hair that gets astonishingly greyer every time it is cut, but they remain ‘young people’ by definition: it is who we are and it is who we’ve always been. We’re the ones who grew up listening to Roger Daltry singing Pete Townshend’s lyric, “I hope I die before I get old” and we haven’t died, so we’re not old. Which isn’t to say they treat you as old. No, it’s a bit more complicated than that; something they would appreciate if ever they had heard Eric Burdon singing, “Oh Lord. Please don’t let me be misunderstood”. It is so complicated in fact that perhaps it has come to this: cultural sensitivity training. After all, the cultural significance of hair has long been studied and appears to be a fundamental training requirement that has been given insufficient weight in their curriculum. If it’s good enough for nurses, and schoolteachers, then surely it’s good enough for hairdressers. Actually, it wouldn’t be so tough. Rather than going to workshops with shampoo salespeople and colour consultants, they’d be [...] Read More »
Man of Nanotechnology
Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, Superman first appeared in a comic book in 1932: at the height of the industrial age. In New York, the Empire State Building was open. In Europe, architect Le Corbusier—in love with automobiles—was designing houses that were ‘machines for living’. Freud was using steam as a metaphor for pent-up emotions. Invincibility was hot; Men of Steel were cool. Next year, there’s going to be a brand new Superman movie. They’re going back to the beginning; giving the franchise another shot. Which is curious, because we no longer live in the industrial age. We’ve been to school: we know that steel (and even kryptonite) is really just a bunch of atoms. And the quantum physicists amongst us understand that not only is it impossible to know the precise location of an atom, but that—wherever it is—it is likely be spinning up and down simultaneously (however that works). In the age of nanotechnology, uncertainty is cool. Which perhaps explains why today’s superheroes are actually not men of steel. They are David Beckham and Rob Fyffe and Steve Jobs. They are complex and contradictory. They shop. They happily follow the advice of a [...] Read More »
Tax Wizard of Oz
Which way do we go?” asked Dorothy, in The Wizard of Oz. If you’re looking for Anthony Nagle, Tax Accountant, you go to a bustling café in funky Brunswick Street, in Melbourne. Past the counter and up the stairs there is a glass door with gold lettering that says ‘Anthony Nagle and Co. Tax Accountant. Specialising in Film, Music, Media & The Arts.’ Tony never wanted to be an accountant; he wanted to work in the movies. His first job was in a cinema, collecting tickets, but his father was an accountant and it was expected that the boys would be accountants too. Eventually, Tony knuckled down and knocked off the accountancy papers. He got a job on Blue Heelers, the television series, as a production accountant and then moved into finance, putting deals together for new shows. They moved him to Melbourne to set up an office in that city. He decided to open a business; because he reckoned that way he’d be able to still spend time with the children. He did tax returns for people in the movie industry and word spread that there was an accountant out there who gets it. Now, he employs half a [...] Read More »
Building a cathedral
You’ve probably heard the story about the three stonecutters, chipping away at bits of rock. When asked what they were doing, the first replied, “I am making a living”. The second said: “I am doing the best job of stone cutting in the entire country.” And the third said: “I am building a cathedral.” The moral, your Human Resource manager will tell you, smiling, is that the way to motivate staff is to help them see the bigger picture. So let’s talk about the bigger picture, cathedral-wise. Maybe with Sir Christopher Wren, because in some versions of the story those stonecutters were working on his St Paul’s Cathedral in London. Or maybe with Antoni Gaudi, whose Sagrada Familia in Barcelona is still being built, nearly 100 years after his death. Wren will tell you that over the life of his project he had to negotiate the demands of four separate monarchs. He’ll tell you about being caught in the struggles between the Parliament and the Church and how the brief kept changing and there was never enough money for construction. He’ll tell you he never forgave Charles II for diverting him from science to ‘spend all his [...] Read More »
The blossom is blighted…
We asked Mr Micawber, from the Charles Dickens novel David Copperfield, to run his eyes over the affairs of the Otago Rugby Union. The Otago Rugby Union, you may be aware, has debts of $2.3 million and a projected current year loss of $750,000. Mr Micawber is famous for his realisation that when expenditure exceeds income, things are unlikely to end well. In particular, we were keen to hear Mr Micawber’s views on what the consequences might be of mortgaging one’s house (in the ORU’s case, the ‘house of pain’: their stadium) in order to maintain one’s level of expenditure. “The blossom” he reported, dolefully, “is blighted, the leaf is withered, the god of day goes down upon the dreary scene, and, in short, you are for ever floored.” Certainly ORU chairman, Wayne Graham, was floored. Explaining to delegates at the AGM what their Board might have missed, he concluded, “The reality is that it is a business.” At first glance—given the amount of dosh involved—that might appear to be something of an epiphany on his part. But, unfortunately, he got that bit wrong, too. Sport in New Zealand—Rugby, Netball, even Racing—is not a business: Rather, it’s a [...] Read More »
Brought you some whitebait
David died. 83 years old, he’d been up in his plane just a few days before. “I’ve brought you some whitebait,” he’d say, clambering off the quad bike. It was a tradition, the annual whitebaiting trip to the West Coast, even after Elizabeth died. He bought his first farm at 23. He’d saved the money shearing. Except it wasn’t really a farm: more the remains of a forest; too daunting for the WW2 returned serviceman who had been awarded it in appreciation. David cleared it, stump by stump. “I’ve brought you a book my father wrote,” he’d say and talk about beef prices and ask your opinion of Australian politics. The plane was a farm implement: tax deductible (and there was a story). As the farm enterprise grew, it made sense to buy a plane and put in a landing strip. Nothing pleased him more than passing his medical every year: the oldest pilot in New Zealand. “I’ve brought you some apples,” he’d say, “I saw you were home.” And tell you about his trip to Germany and what it had cost, in pounds shillings and pence, to build his first woolshed. A complete asset register in his head. Now [...] Read More »
Mama don’t take my Kodachrome
Kodak is bankrupt. Chances are hearing that news made you sad. As Don Draper said in a Mad Men episode where he was pitching to Kodak—showing slides of his estranged wife and children as he spoke—“Nostalgia is a twinge in your heart, far more powerful than memory alone.” Marketing guru Al Ries has a take on what went wrong. He says that it’s not that Kodak missed the shift to digital photography: Kodak not only invented digital photography, they invested over $5billion in digital photography research and development and hold thousands of patents. Rather, he argues, it’s a branding issue. He suggests that in consumers’ minds the Kodak brand is associated with photographic film. Pointing to various other Kodak technologies that never really succeeded—from photocopiers to printers—he says that having a well-known name is not always an advantage. He says Kodak should have created a new brand name for their digital technology, as Eveready did with the Energizer brand for the new alkaline batteries. Maybe he’s right. Or maybe he’s just a marketing guy with a hammer, looking for a nail. Perhaps Lou Gerstner’s experience is more relevant…”I came to see, in my time at IBM, that [...] Read More »
Driving like Uncle Frank
You always had to write the thank you letters: “Dear Uncle Frank. Thank you for the mask and flippers. I could see under the water and there was sand. I also got a book and a DVD. Thanks again for the mask and flippers.” Then, when school started, you had to write, “What I did on my holidays”. Only much later in life does it occur to you that toys could come with pre-printed thank you letters (“write relative’s name here”) and that in fact you could have plagiarised the essay because everyone’s holiday experience is identical. The particulars may vary (“write in: ‘the deck’, or ‘the back yard’, ‘the suburbs’ or ‘the beach’”) but the activity is the same: the annual gathering of the tribe, the in-laws and initiates. As the group assembles it has no discernible pattern: small clusters form and disperse. There are multiple, multilateral conversations about the immediate past and imminent future. But eventually—on no one’s command, but in accordance with some ancient universal law—the circle forms. Perhaps the only discernable change since the Stone Age is the plastic chairs. The discussion, initially, remains in the present: a consensus emerges, for example, on [...] Read More »
Occam’s Razor
According to a recent poll, 33% of New Zealanders—and therefore (one should assume) a third of those reading this—believe that Earth has been visited by UFOs. To be fair, only 4% are ‘absolutely certain’ that UFOs have visited: the other 29% believe it, but they wouldn’t say they were absolutely certain. So (to diminish the risk of offending anyone here) let’s say that what the 29% would have ticked—if they had been given the option—was ‘I think it is possible that UFOs have visited Earth.’ That way, we can describe them as open-minded, which—given there is no hard evidence either way—is an entirely reasonable position for them to hold. After all, NASA is open to the idea of extraterrestrial life. On 26th November, Curiosity began its eight month journey to Mars: the latest attempt to discover whether—on that planet—the prerequisites to life ever existed. So, every reason to keep an open mind: for E.T.’s sake if nothing else. But the 4% who are ‘absolutely certain’… how should we feel about them? Especially when you read in Time magazine that the most Earth-like planet spotted so far (i.e. the closest place with the faint possibility of supporting life as we know [...] Read More »
The Ambassador’s tie
Imagine a creative writing class being given—as the title for their short story exercise—“The Ambassador’s tie”. In perhaps the most successful attempt, the ambassador is last seen in the company of a beautiful woman at Monaco’s Hotel de Paris. His tie is found on the bannister, but neither he—nor the woman—has been seen since. Another of their stories is set in Bangkok; another Geneva. Sometimes it’s the tie that is missing, in others it’s the ambassador. The common theme is intrigue. As is usually the way, the truth is rather more prosaic. The setting is Wellington and neither the tie, nor the Ambassador, is missing. There is intrigue, however, because the Ambassador in question is an expert at his craft. Everyone in business is a sales person: an ambassador for their brand. And the aspect of selling—of being a brand ambassador—that most people find most challenging is engaging with prospective customers. Be that in person at a cocktail party as the Ambassador was, or in their promotional activities and marketing collateral. Which is why you should remember the Ambassador’s tie. Because it’s a lesson from an expert in creating engagement: in starting a conversation with someone new. The Ambassador—representing [...] Read More »
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LATEST POSTS
- Talking 'bout my generation 17/05/2012
- Man of Nanotechnology 30/04/2012
- Tax Wizard of Oz 16/04/2012
- Building a cathedral 21/03/2012
- The blossom is blighted... 07/03/2012
- Brought you some whitebait 19/02/2012
- Mama don't take my Kodachrome 27/01/2012
- Driving like Uncle Frank 08/01/2012
- Occam's Razor 15/12/2011
- The Ambassador's tie 25/11/2011
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